View Full Version : Egypt Jokes

05-02-2008, 12:29 AM
a blonde walks into a pizza shop and orders a pizza, the pizza guy says "do you want it cut into 6 or 8?" the blonde replys "6 please im not that hungry!"


05-02-2008, 12:32 AM
"Hi honey. This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause,
Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the
table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to
Mommy that Daddy's car just
pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."

"And what happened honey?"
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran
around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!!
What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he
jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean
it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?

Is this


No, this is 486-5713.....

sorry wrong number

05-02-2008, 04:10 AM
Egypt Jokes

Good jokes ... I did not know there are too
many blonds women in Egypt and too many swimming pools in houses in Egypt

03-04-2009, 10:48 PM
State of Stand-Up: Egyptian Jokes and Humor

Egyptian jokes and humor provide a short-cut to insights about Egyptian society and politics--or an end-run around the society's various repressions. Middle East Issues contributor Catherine Manfre, a writer and editor based in Cairo, runs down the state of everyday stand-up in Cairo.

Mubarak in Hell
President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt dies and goes to hell and is greeted by the devil. The devil says to him, Since you were a leader of a country for many years, Ill allow you to choose which room youre tortured in for the rest of eternity.

Mubarak walks down a corridor with doors on either side, opens the first door and inquires what type of torture he would endure. The man at the door says, Youre tortured for eight hours with burning flames, eight hours of hot oil and eight hours in boiling water.

Thinking he should try his luck elsewhere, Mubarak opens each door on the corridor and finds similar replies.

He comes to the final door. The man says he will endure twelve hours of torture on a terrible looking machine, followed by another twelve hours in a burning tub of oil. Mubarak tells him that sounds terrible, and he thinks hell just stick with the first door he opened.

The man leans in and whispers, No sir, this is the Egyptian room, the supplies of oil are never delivered on time and our torture machines never work.

Humors Way Out of Egypts Hells
While political expression is largely prohibited, inflation is on the rise, and little chance for social mobility, creating and telling jokes about conditions in Egypt is one way many people cope with the realities of life. Its not exactly making lemonade from lemons, but at the very least it dulls the bitterness.

Many Egyptian jokes poke fun at political and economic conditions that most feel they can do little to change. Will poking fun at themselves and their country make things better? Probably not, but if you feel like youre powerless to change your life, laughing can be a welcome relief.

Egypts Version of Florida Elections
Egypt is a democracy in the same sense that Earth was created in a week: it says so on paper, but the reality is very different. The Arab Republic of Egypt has had three presidents in its half-century modern history: Gamal Abdel Nasser, Anwar Sadat, and Hosni Mubarak. Mubarak has been in power since Sadats assassination in 1981, and while it seems that most dont agree with him and think he does little for his country, he always seems to get a large percentage of the vote.

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is meeting with President Vladimir Putin of Russia. Putin asks Mubarak, How do you always win with 99% of the vote? I wish I won with that type of percentage. Mubarak responds, Next time you have an election, let me know and Ill send my people to help you out.

The Russian election is coming up, and Mubarak sends some advisors to Russia to help Putin in his election. The results come out: 99% Mubarak.

The Inevitable Mother-In-Law
Perhaps resigning oneself to existing conditions is not optimal, but poking fun at life is reflective of a culture of not taking life too seriously. In a place where family is central to most peoples social sphere, and job opportunities are abundant only for the few and the privileged, peoples boundaries do not extend too far from homeand neither do their jokes, some of which adapt familiar, universal themes to Egypt.

A man is talking to his friend and asks him how he is doing. His friend says hes very happy today. When the man asks him why, his friend says, My mother-in-law died last night.

Lost in Translation
Much of the Egyptian population is centered in Cairo and the Mediterranean city of Alexandria, with Cairos population exploding in recent years to around 22 million people; Egypt population is around 70-80 million. The dichotomy between city and country is vast, with little infrastructure or development for the local population extending outside of these two cities.

Those living in Upper or southern Egypt are referred to as Sayyidi by those in Lower Egypt. There are a multitude of jokes that reflect the stereotypes about this group of people. Many jokes focus on their more tribal village way of life and lack of education.

Humor is an enormous part of Egyptian culture and is probably lost to many visiting the country since even Egyptians fluent in English sometimes refuse to translate jokes because so much of the humor is rooted in the language.

There is probably a sociological analysis of a societys ability to be self-reflective and use the outcome to produce humor. Im not sure what that analysis is, so Ill just sit back, listen, and laugh.