Thoughts

[na3na3a]

Everytime I think I've got it figured out,

another heart break comes around the curb
taking me by surprise, breaking me to a million pieces...

my soul is broken Lord, I am tired

tired of trying to figure life out

there is a longing in my heart to be part of something bigger

but instead I follow the instructions...
wake up on time
get to work on time
do school work
achieve

excel

excel

are you excelling? NO you are failing! You do not measure up !!

I drag my feet with my tail between my legs...
the gentle breeze caresses my cheeks only to create more meloncoly...

what is the meaning of it all
why another heart break
another failure
another question left unanswered...


Everytime I think I've figured it out...I get dealt another blow...

what's the point of ME?? what?!

Don't tell me to worship You, because You could have created us as angels and we would worship You up in heaven and have a much better time doing it too!!

Why earth?? there must be a point to each soul you've created...or else you would not have created us each with a different print, different look, different soul....


Father, I'm ready to live for some crazy big purpose...I'm ready to look at my day and say yes, today I helped somebody, today I listened to somebody, today I made someone's life better....

Is it true? is that longing in my heart for a bigger purpose explainable? or is it just my pride...how foolish of me to think there is a bigger meaning to my life...!!

I wait for you every morning...as I walk out the door, embracing life with new energy...everyday hoping to make a difference in someone's life...

I sit behind a screen, write words that don't make any difference in anyone's life...peak at other's words and hope to oneday be able to talk like them...to argue like them...to love like them...


if my wild heart out of place? am I foolish to think life so much more than going to church, teaching sunday school, doing my job and paying my bills???

Confusedly Waiting,



na3na3a.

[amoni]

very nice ne3na3a
God bless you ya beta3t el e3lam

ha teb2y moze3a emta>??

bgd it touched my heart
God bless ur heart as always

[na3na3a]

Hi miss 3abkareenoo yea beta3et Nasa :)
i'm glad that my words touched someone...I was hopin to hear back from people...do others feel the same thing sometimes? do others have the same struggle?

Am I just weird?

[amoni]

everyday hoping to make a difference in someone's life
you know ne3na3a

you are not the only one

i walk to my classes or work everyday hoping my day will be a better day

i step out of the Egyptian house to the American world
where is nothing is free

when u give ur hands to somebody to help, u find the word how much in the opposite so i gently stopped asking,

last night, i had a business dinner and finished at 2 am, and my car ran out of gas
so i stopped in gas station to fill some gas, and here he comes that weired looking guy
saying hi miss do u have jumping cables, i said i am sorry i dont, and i really did not have, and i left in fears, in my my way back i was thinking and thinking was that the right thing to do? why did not i call the road assistant in my phone, why did not i hanged out next to him or at least call 911 to come help him

i felt guilt out of no where



what if that was jesus, and i just left jesus


what do u think?

[na3na3a]

Well Nasagirl...no you did the right thing becuase it was late at night, you were alone, a girl and he's a guy...that's normal. Of course you did the right thing. I am thankful God protected you. However, you could have called 911 after you got in your car and left the man. That is what i usually do when I see someone stranded on the highway but I can't help him/her...I just call the police for them....

but you are right...
you know sometimes I see an old woman or man on the metro so I get up and give them my seat. SOmetimes the old person gets offended and gives me a dirty look like "I don't need your help"

pity :(

[amoni]

u r right ne3na3a
u know what
i was at work couple of weeks ago, and i was entering the door we ana basafar lol, and a lady came (co worker) asked me if i was indian, i said i am sorry i only speak arabic and some french, if u need any help i am under ur service, she started winning about that old lady on the other work side she is old and indian and does not speak english
everytime i try to go there to help her and give her a break and work instead of her till she takes her break, she give me the dirty look and push me with her hands, do u think a cultural thing? i was like,,, i do not know really
all i could do is to tell a supervisor and pray
the next day, that lady was so happy, i was like what is that big smile for
she said a supervisor was indian too, and he talked to her in a very formal nice way, and it was a cultural thing, and when she pushes me a way she means she is still strong and does not need pity

so see old ppl have their techniques lol

[TINA_bent_yaso3]

Hi miss 3abkareenoo yea beta3et Nasa :)
i'm glad that my words touched someone...I was hopin to hear back from people...do others feel the same thing sometimes? do others have the same struggle?

Am I just weird?

yes me also

it's was so nice
god bless your work